My Roommate is Stealing From Me: A Practical Guide on What to Do Next
It’s a terrible feeling. You notice cash missing from your wallet. Your favorite hoodie vanishes. That snack you were saving is gone. At first, you think you’re just forgetful. But when it keeps happening, an awful thought pops into your head: Is my roommate stealing from me?
When the person you share a home with breaks your trust, your safe space suddenly feels… unsafe. It’s stressful and confusing. But don’t panic. You have options.
This simple guide will walk you through exactly what to do, step-by-step.
Before It Happens: Setting Financial Boundaries with Any Roommate
Whether you're moving in with a best friend or a stranger from the internet, a few simple, proactive steps can create a foundation of respect and prevent most misunderstandings before they start.
Create a Simple Roommate Agreement: This doesn't need to be a complex legal document. Just a simple, written page or a shared note that you both agree on. Cover things like: How will you split shared costs (utilities, toilet paper, etc.)? What are the rules on having guests over? What's the policy on borrowing personal items? Getting it in writing eliminates future "I didn't know" excuses.
Have the "Yours, Mine, and Ours" Talk: On move-in day, have a friendly, 5-minute chat. Define what's communal ("ours," like the living room couch or dish soap) and what's personal ("yours" and "mine," like groceries, clothes, and electronics). You can say, "Hey, just so we're on the same page, my rule is please ask before borrowing anything from my room. Same goes for my food in the fridge. I'll do the same for you!"
Label Your Groceries: It sounds silly, but it's the easiest way to solve 90% of food-theft issues. A simple marker with your initial on your milk, leftovers, or that special ice cream is a clear, non-confrontational signal that it's off-limits.
But what if, despite these measures, you still have that sinking feeling that things are being taken? If you suspect you're past the point of prevention, it's time to take action.
Step 1: Are You Sure? Make a Quick, Private List
Before you accuse anyone, let’s make sure. Getting this wrong can make things incredibly awkward.
Jot It Down: Grab your phone and in a notes app, list what's missing and when you noticed it was gone. Seeing it written down helps you spot a real pattern versus just being forgetful.
Do a 2-Minute Scan: Quickly check common areas. Did your missing headphones end up by the TV? Was your jacket left on the couch? Rule out simple mistakes first. Do not go into your roommate’s private room. Snooping can get you into trouble.
Step 2: Secure Your Room (The Easy Way)
If you’re pretty sure things are being taken, your next move is to protect your stuff. You need to create a space that is truly yours. The good news? It’s easier and cheaper than you think.
Add a Lock to Your Door
You don't need a handyman to secure your bedroom door. Many hardware stores sell easy-to-install locks that are perfect for renters.
Portable Door Locks: These are brilliant. They require no screws or drilling. You just slide them into the door jamb. You can find them online for under $20.
Locking Door Knobs: If your landlord is okay with it, swapping your standard knob for one with a key is a simple, 15-minute job with just a screwdriver.
Get Proof and Peace of Mind with a Camera
Knowing for sure is powerful. A small, personal security camera gives you undeniable proof and stops the endless, stressful guessing game.
The Kangaroo Indoor + Outdoor Cam is perfect for this. We designed it for people who need security without the hassle.
No Tools Needed: You can literally just place it on a shelf or your desk. It’s small and won't look out of place.
See What's Happening: It sends an alert to your phone if it detects motion in your room. You can watch the live feed from anywhere.
Get Concrete Proof: The camera records clear, 1080p video to the cloud. If someone is in your room, you’ll have the evidence saved securely.
For the cost of a few pizzas, you can get the peace of mind of knowing your room is truly your own.
Step 3: What to Do With the Proof
Okay, so you have proof. Now what? Your path forward depends on your relationship and what you want to happen.
Option A: The “Soft” Approach
Best for smaller items or if you want to avoid a huge fight.
The "Lost & Found" Trick: Casually say, "Hey, I can't find my headphones anywhere. Have you seen them by any chance?" This gives your roommate a chance to return the item with no drama.
The "House Rules" Chat: Without pointing fingers, suggest a house rule. "Hey, things have been getting mixed up lately. Let’s make a rule to keep our personal stuff in our own rooms."
Option B: The Direct Conversation
If the theft is serious and you have clear video proof, it's time to talk.
Pick a Calm Moment: Don't do it when one of you is angry or rushing out the door.
Use "I" Statements: This is key. Don't say, "You're a thief." Instead, say, "I've noticed money missing from my room, and I'm really upset about it."
Show Your Proof (If you must): "Because I was so concerned, I put a camera in my room. It shows you taking the money from my desk."
State What You Need: Do you want them to pay you back? Move out? Decide what outcome you need to feel safe again.
Option C: Calling in Help
If you can't solve it on your own, it's time for backup.
Landlord or RA: An RA in a dorm or a landlord can act as a mediator. Your lease probably has rules against illegal activity.
The Police: For high-value items, filing a police report is a valid option. The video from your Kangaroo camera is the exact kind of proof they need.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Will renters insurance cover roommate theft? Almost never. Most policies exclude coverage for people who legally live with you, since they have access to the home. This makes preventing theft your best defense.
Is it legal to put a camera in my own room? Generally, yes. You have a right to privacy and security in your personal bedroom. Just don't place cameras in shared spaces like bathrooms or in your roommate's private room. (This is not legal advice, so always check your local laws!)
How do I make my roommate move out? This can be tricky. It often involves your landlord and the terms of your lease. Documenting everything and having clear proof is essential if you need to go this route. Talking to a local renters' rights organization can give you free, specific advice.
Your Peace of Mind is the Priority
Feeling unsafe in your own home is a terrible experience. Taking small, simple steps to secure your room can give you back a sense of control. Whether it’s a $15 door lock or an affordable camera, investing in your own security is always worth it.
Ready to make your room a fortress of solitude? Check out Kangaroo’s simple, no-fuss security solutions and take the first step toward breathing easier today.
